Where has our village gone?
I often get asked why I do what I do.
Alongside my belief that good sleep is vitally important to the way children are able to grow and develop (and the way we, as adults, can function!), I’ve proven time and again that the early years of parenting don’t have to be fraught with the torture of sleep deprivation.
Not only that, I get genuinely excited about helping struggling parents discover this too.
And I believe this help is genuinely needed…
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but nowadays this is mostly just lip service – a traditional or nostalgic-sounding turn of phrase.
The reality is that the so-called ‘village’ of old is long gone. It’s no longer common to see extended family all raising children under the same roof, or in some cases, even in close proximity.
And the result is that parenting can be a pretty tough gig!
Many parents feel as though they’re going it alone, with little or no support. Instead of our communities of yesteryear, it’s common now for families to have two working parents, outsourced childcare and the pressures of million dollar mortgages.
None of this is ‘wrong’ per se but it is our reality. And it all adds additional pressures to the fact that we’re learning as we go, trying to trust our intuition (or even slow down long enough to hear it!) and doing our very best for our small humans.
The shifting shape of support
I see so many parents who are ashamed to seek help in supporting their children to sleep. They feel as though they are somehow failing.
They wonder if they’re being selfish because – despite the huge benefits improved sleep will have for their child’s development, nutrition and behaviour – they’re also desperate for the extra zzzzzs or downtime their child’s improved sleep will bring them.
They’re worried that they’ll be judged as a mum. And there is a lot of judgement. A lot of the times we put something out in the media there’s some measure of backlash – but if we consider where this is coming from, a lot of it starts with ‘back in my day…’
There’s no reason for the judgements and, in fact, they’re unfounded and unfair. History shows that everyone has had support in the home – it’s just that it looks different now. In the absence of our more traditional ‘village’, necessity demands that this support take different forms.
Re-imagining our village
In this day and age, sleep consultants – and any manner of similar professionals – are filling the void. It’s not about telling people how to parent. It’s about reassurance and guidance – the support and knowledge transfer that would have once happened implicitly from your ‘village’.
None of the parents we work with are looking for a perfect situation, or for their children to be the picture of perfection. But they do need something to get a bit better; they want to support their children to sleep better, both so that their little loves can grow and thrive, and so that they can keep their sanity (and often their relationships and households!) intact. There is absolutely no shame in that.
We’re all doing the very best we can, after all. And our best is absolutely good enough.
In this digital and global age, there’s no doubt that times have changed. Perhaps it’s time that our understanding of a village does too. Nobody can possibly claim that parenting is easy – it’s true that it takes a village. From online communities, to coffee groups or the help of professionals, seek support wherever you can find it.
Our Baby Sleep Program helps tired parents TO DEVELOP HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS BY FOCUSING ON NAPS, SETTLING AND NIGHT SLEEP.
- Empowered: Feel empowered as a Mum as you learn to understand your growing baby's needs and cues.
- Simple effective settling: Gentle, proven self settling, evidence based techniques.
- Content happy baby and parents: Better sleep creates content babies & happy parents.
- Freedom: Predictable routines and longer nights creates freedom. Solve your sleep problems for more freedom.
- Work with your babies circadian rhythm: Work with your babies biological clock for faster easier results.
- Awesome naps & nights: You'll create consistent naps and nights with our support.
Try our online sleep program, complete with FREE email support.
My baby has reflux can you help?
When your baby has reflux, feeds can be difficult and your baby can be in a lot of pain both during and after feeds. This pain can cause feeding aversions and failure to thrive. This is why true GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) needs to be treated by a doctor. Once your baby's doctor is satisfied your baby is feeding well, and you have the right medication or formula then we can start a sleep plan and you will be successful.
My baby has colic will this help?
Colic is defined as 3 or more hours of crying per day in infants. Crying subsides in the second second trimester. If you are still experiencing colic symptoms speak to your baby's doctor about whether this could be reflux, an allergy, or over tiredness. We can help you work on better sleep with this program at the same time as your doctor investigates the pain and crying.
What if the program isn't working?
We have a dedicated help line to ensure your success. Just email our team via the details in your program and a certified, experienced and friendly sleep consultant is ready to stare you in the right direction to ensure your success!
My baby was born early, can you help?
Sleep is neurological so we always work off your babies neurological age, that is their corrected age. When you look at our sleep programs purchase the program that your babies corrected age fits into.
What if I have questions or need more help?
Our sleep programs come with private email support. You don’t have to post in any public forums or groups, just email the exclusive helpline that our team of certified sleep consultants look after and we’ll answer all your questions and help you on your way.
Can this program help with my babies night sleep?
Yes, all our online sleep programs contain night sleep plans. We will teach you how to move from multiple night feeds to 2 or 1 or none (depending on what is age appropriate and appropriate for your baby.) Don’t worry we will show you to figure this out too. If your baby is unsettled at night but not feeding, our plans will help you with consolidate night sleep and self settling when age appropriate.
My baby is cat napping can you help?
Cat napping is a very normal physiological stage that your baby goes through. At this stage (3-8 months old), cat napping can start to be a long term issue and compound into over tiredness and affect night sleep and your babies happiness. Good news, this is a great age to work on re-settling, self settling and better longer naps!
I have 3 children, can this work with my family?
I totally understand how busy life is with 2, 3 or more children! Even if you need a flexible schedule we can still work on settling regular naps (some on the go!), and better evenings and night. Flick our consultants any specific questions about your family's schedule of activities and we can help you work out what is possible nap wise.
I don't want a fixed routine, can you still help?
Yes. A fixed routine is one option, regular naps and regular awake times is another. Both are valid and you are welcome to do what works for your family. We understand you are all different and what works best for one family won't be best for another.
I'm formula feeding, can you still help?
Yes we have specific advice for formula feeding parents, and we support your decision to feed any way you choose. We even have a special video series on formula feeding and everything you need to know. Just ask our consultants about this extra if you need it.
I'm exclusively breastfeeding, can I follow your plans?
Yes! While breastfeeding babies need to feed frequently they still need quality sleep day and night. We have specific advice for breastfeeding mums and an exclusive discount on Julia Daleys breastfeeding course if you need extra help.
I'm bed sharing, can your program help me stop?
Yes. We often fall into bed sharing, we call this reactive bed sharing. Or we have simply changed our mind, and moving on from bed sharing we need some support. Our programs and consults will guide you through gentle sleep methods, which are more appropriate for most bed sharing babies who are moving towards independent sleep in the cot.
I'm feeding to sleep, can you help me stop?
Yes. Feeding to sleep is a common sleep association and one that works well for lots of newborns. Often we need to move on from feeding to sleep when it starts to cause short naps, or prolonged settling or frequent night wake ups as baby looks for their association to go back to sleep over and over again at night. We can teach you how to teach your baby to self settle and move on from feeding to sleep when the time is right.
I'm rocking to sleep, is their a solution?
Yes. These are common sleep associations, we refer to this as assisting to sleep. Let us show you ways you can develop independent sleep and settling strategies with our online sleep program, or one on one consult.
Is this program based on Cry It Out?
No. Cry it out is the common name for a sleep training method where you put baby down and don’t respond or check until they are fast asleep. There is no CIO involved in this program as we feel this should be only done under proper supervision. Instead we have included all our very gentle approaches and more mainstream techniques for you to choose from.
Is this based on Science or Art?
Both! As a scientist I (Emma) have spent over 8 years researching the science of sleep. I have educated and certified over 500 consultants around the world as sleep consultants, and have worked with thousands of clients. I love the scientific explanations of why we see the sleep patterns we see, and this science helps us to shape plans and solutions that we know will work. But there's an element of art to getting a baby to sleep, understanding the right combination of things that will work best, and this is where your instinct comes in.
Read what our clients are saying about us....
" This is a long time coming but Cherene saved our sanity! We can't thank her enough. She was super friendly, helpful and was there whenever we had any questions. Izzy would wake at least 5 times a night and wouldn't go to bed until after 9pm. Now she goes to bed at 6.30, wakes at about 1am for a feed then sleeps till 5.30am which is so much easier to deal with!
Thank you! "
~ Antoinette Seon
"We were at breaking point with our 16 week old's sleep as she had issues from the moment she was born. She absolutely fought sleep like it was the enemy. I thought that was just the child we were given and I had no chance of anything different until we found Amy. She came in for a daytime consult and our girl was a different child literally over night, I was blown away. Her advice was amazing and follow up support was awesome. I can't recommend her enough if you are struggling with bubs sleep, you absolutely won't regret getting her in!"
~ Jacqui Pitcaithly
"I can't recommend these guys enough!! I recently did the phone consultation service with Kelly in Dunedin and she was so so awesome to work with! My 11 month old has gone from multiple wakes and feeds overnight, to sleeping 12hrs+ overnight! (He had never slept through the night since he was born). We had tried lots of different things ourselves, but things improved so quickly when we followed Kelly's recommendations it was incredible!! We both now have so much more energy and can be much better parents when we're not tired zombies! Thank you!!"
~ Kirsten Taylor
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