Is your Dummy Stopping your Baby from Self Settling?
The ability to go from awake to drowsy to asleep without any assistance from Mum or Dad is what we refer to as Self Settling.
Do you let you wrap your baby, pop their dummy in, and they drift off to sleep?
While this is a great way to get a newborn to sleep, and works successfully for many babies, if you start to notice that your baby is waking after 30-45 minutes and crying, then actually they aren't self settling, they are dependent on the dummy to go to sleep.
Parents often email me confused as to why their baby settles so easily, and doesn't wake up when the dummy initially falls out, but believing their baby self settles, are confused as to why the baby can't go back to sleep after a short sleep cycle.
As always, the conditions in which your baby needed to fall asleep, they likely need to go back to sleep.
So if your baby has a dummy to settle, they need the dummy to re-settle.
What about sleep training with a dummy?
If you are wanting to teach self settling, another mistake parents make, is keeping the dummy under the age of 8 months.
Under this age, it is unlikely that your baby will learn to find and replace their own dummy, therefore your baby will remain dependent on you to put that dummy in for them, and this doesn't consistent self settling, as you the parent are settling them.
Hearing from parents who are using spaced soothing and using a dummy under the age of 8 months is another mistake I hear parents making.
It is unlikely to result in self settling, until your baby is old enough to put that dummy in themselves.
If you pop that dummy in, during sleep training, then no self settling is being taught, and your options are.
1. Ditch the dummy and work on self settling.
2. Pop the dummy in, and help your baby drift off to sleep with the dummy.
3. Wait until 7-8 months and teach your baby to put their own dummy in, find and replace their own dummy, and this will be your baby self settling with a dummy.
Whether or not you keep a dummy or ditch a dummy is a very personal decision, they are a great settling tool for children, and can be great for older children.
But that in-between age can be fraught with multiple dummy runs a night, short naps, and frustration as your baby becomes over tired due to insufficient sleep.
Some sleep patterns that cause parents to decide to get rid of the dummy and work on self settling include.
-
Short naps - cat naps
-
Struggling to settle, multiple dummy runs per nap
-
Short naps, causing over tired grumpy baby
-
Frequent wake ups at night to replace the dummy.
-
Early morning wake ups for the dummy.
Once you make a decision to work on self settling without the dummy, you have multiple options depending on your babies age, stage and temperament.
We cover all of these options in our online sleep program.
Take the quiz, work out your parenting style, and your child's sleep temperament, and be directed to the best self settling approach for your family.
No two families are the same when it comes to sleep, settling and raising babies.
Emma Purdue
Emma is the owner and founder of Baby Sleep Consultant, she is a certified infant and child sleep consultant, Happiest Baby on the block educator, has a Bachelor of Science, and Diploma in Education. Emma is a mother to 3 children, and loves writing when she isn't working with tired clients and cheering on her team helping thousands of mums just like you.
Our Baby Sleep Program helps tired parents TO DEVELOP HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS BY FOCUSING ON NAPS, SETTLING AND NIGHT SLEEP.
- Empowered: Feel empowered as a Mum as you learn to understand your growing baby's needs and cues.
- Simple effective settling: Gentle, proven self settling, evidence based techniques.
- Content happy baby and parents: Better sleep creates content babies & happy parents.
- Freedom: Predictable routines and longer nights creates freedom. Solve your sleep problems for more freedom.
- Work with your babies circadian rhythm: Work with your babies biological clock for faster easier results.
- Awesome naps & nights: You'll create consistent naps and nights with our support.
Try our online sleep program, complete with FREE email support.
My baby has reflux can you help?
When your baby has reflux, feeds can be difficult and your baby can be in a lot of pain both during and after feeds. This pain can cause feeding aversions and failure to thrive. This is why true GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) needs to be treated by a doctor. Once your baby's doctor is satisfied your baby is feeding well, and you have the right medication or formula then we can start a sleep plan and you will be successful.
My baby has colic will this help?
Colic is defined as 3 or more hours of crying per day in infants. Crying subsides in the second second trimester. If you are still experiencing colic symptoms speak to your baby's doctor about whether this could be reflux, an allergy, or over tiredness. We can help you work on better sleep with this program at the same time as your doctor investigates the pain and crying.
What if the program isn't working?
We have a dedicated help line to ensure your success. Just email our team via the details in your program and a certified, experienced and friendly sleep consultant is ready to stare you in the right direction to ensure your success!
My baby was born early, can you help?
Sleep is neurological so we always work off your babies neurological age, that is their corrected age. When you look at our sleep programs purchase the program that your babies corrected age fits into.
What if I have questions or need more help?
Our sleep programs come with private email support. You don’t have to post in any public forums or groups, just email the exclusive helpline that our team of certified sleep consultants look after and we’ll answer all your questions and help you on your way.
Can this program help with my babies night sleep?
Yes, all our online sleep programs contain night sleep plans. We will teach you how to move from multiple night feeds to 2 or 1 or none (depending on what is age appropriate and appropriate for your baby.) Don’t worry we will show you to figure this out too. If your baby is unsettled at night but not feeding, our plans will help you with consolidate night sleep and self settling when age appropriate.
My baby is cat napping can you help?
Cat napping is a very normal physiological stage that your baby goes through. At this stage (3-8 months old), cat napping can start to be a long term issue and compound into over tiredness and affect night sleep and your babies happiness. Good news, this is a great age to work on re-settling, self settling and better longer naps!
I have 3 children, can this work with my family?
I totally understand how busy life is with 2, 3 or more children! Even if you need a flexible schedule we can still work on settling regular naps (some on the go!), and better evenings and night. Flick our consultants any specific questions about your family's schedule of activities and we can help you work out what is possible nap wise.
I don't want a fixed routine, can you still help?
Yes. A fixed routine is one option, regular naps and regular awake times is another. Both are valid and you are welcome to do what works for your family. We understand you are all different and what works best for one family won't be best for another.
I'm formula feeding, can you still help?
Yes we have specific advice for formula feeding parents, and we support your decision to feed any way you choose. We even have a special video series on formula feeding and everything you need to know. Just ask our consultants about this extra if you need it.
I'm exclusively breastfeeding, can I follow your plans?
Yes! While breastfeeding babies need to feed frequently they still need quality sleep day and night. We have specific advice for breastfeeding mums and an exclusive discount on Julia Daleys breastfeeding course if you need extra help.
I'm bed sharing, can your program help me stop?
Yes. We often fall into bed sharing, we call this reactive bed sharing. Or we have simply changed our mind, and moving on from bed sharing we need some support. Our programs and consults will guide you through gentle sleep methods, which are more appropriate for most bed sharing babies who are moving towards independent sleep in the cot.
I'm feeding to sleep, can you help me stop?
Yes. Feeding to sleep is a common sleep association and one that works well for lots of newborns. Often we need to move on from feeding to sleep when it starts to cause short naps, or prolonged settling or frequent night wake ups as baby looks for their association to go back to sleep over and over again at night. We can teach you how to teach your baby to self settle and move on from feeding to sleep when the time is right.
I'm rocking to sleep, is their a solution?
Yes. These are common sleep associations, we refer to this as assisting to sleep. Let us show you ways you can develop independent sleep and settling strategies with our online sleep program, or one on one consult.
Is this program based on Cry It Out?
No. Cry it out is the common name for a sleep training method where you put baby down and don’t respond or check until they are fast asleep. There is no CIO involved in this program as we feel this should be only done under proper supervision. Instead we have included all our very gentle approaches and more mainstream techniques for you to choose from.
Is this based on Science or Art?
Both! As a scientist I (Emma) have spent over 8 years researching the science of sleep. I have educated and certified over 500 consultants around the world as sleep consultants, and have worked with thousands of clients. I love the scientific explanations of why we see the sleep patterns we see, and this science helps us to shape plans and solutions that we know will work. But there's an element of art to getting a baby to sleep, understanding the right combination of things that will work best, and this is where your instinct comes in.
Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!
Leave a comment